


pain days were the worst days

by jlhb



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fic, Protective Toni Shalifoe, Soft Toni Shalifoe, i stan martha blackburn and you cant stop me, injury fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28949445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlhb/pseuds/jlhb
Summary: Martha tries to push through a day on the island when her back injury is flaring up. To no one's surprise, this does not end well.---an angsty martha centric fic. i hope you like it!
Relationships: Martha Blackburn & Dot Campbell, Martha Blackburn & The Unsinkable Eight, Martha Blackburn & Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 12
Kudos: 53





	pain days were the worst days

**Author's Note:**

> big shoutout to milan (@rosalindstars on here) for helping me edit this. i hope you guys like it!

If she was honest, Dot had envisioned this day going well. Or, as well as a day can go when you’re trapped on a deserted island with 7 other teenage girls. But what Dot had not expected was yet another catastrophe. 

Unfortunately, the day had other plans. 

It was supposed to be a simple water run. It was her turn, and even though she hated the trek up to the waterfall, she was with Marty, and Marty was- certifiably- a ray of sunshine. Always smiling, constantly keeping morale up, and managing to get along with everyone on the island were just some of the things Dot loved about Martha. She was always bubbly and chatty, which made her sullen silence during their hike even stranger. Dot, in her defense, tried to engage Martha in conversation. She tried talking about anything that seemed to get a reaction out of her normally- animals, Toni, the flora and fauna of the area- but was met with utter silence and the occasional huff in lieu of a response. Martha’s shift in mood was, needless to say, concerning. But Dot stopped pushing, because she knew that sometimes you needed a minute alone with your thoughts. 

She assumed that it was something personal bothering her. Maybe it was her mom’s birthday, or maybe an anniversary. Maybe she was just catching up to the reality that they were stranded with no promise of escape. Maybe she was worried about the other girls. Either way, Dot left her alone for the walk, content to save her breath and take a moment of quiet. Dot’s worry began to pique when Martha stopped more and more frequently, and even more so as her breathing began to pick up and she began bracing herself on trees. 

In retrospect, Dot should’ve realized that something was seriously wrong. This was the quietest she had ever seen Martha, including during her breakdown after the goat incident and her encounter with those godforsaken mussels. Hell, Dot thought, Martha even talks in her sleep. _What was she mumbling about last night? Rainbow butterflies in a purple sky? Yeah, that was it. ___

__She tried to suggest Martha to take a rest, maybe sit down for a few minutes and catch her breath, but Martha seemed determined to push through. She really should’ve tried harder to get Martha to sit down. The next thing she heard was a groan of pain from behind her, followed by a loud crash._ _

___Aww, fuck. ____ _

____\---_ _ _ _

____Martha woke up that morning and knew, deep in her gut, that it was going to be a bad day. On a normal day, she woke up stiff, uncomfortable from hours in the same position, but ultimately in no pain. Today she woke to her back screaming in pain, in the exact place she had injured it all those years ago._ _ _ _

____The pain came, every once in a while. She and her mother had spent exorbitant amounts of time and money trying to figure out why her old injury still hurt sometimes. Every doctor they went to said the same thing: she was fine. It was psychosomatic. Just an old injury flaring up. Martha and her mother accepted those words, because eventually, they ran out of resources. But those words provided no relief to the blinding pain Martha felt whenever her injury resurfaced. She would spend hours, if not days, in bed, her body aching and her mind foggy. She eventually learned that some foods like spinach, salmon, and oranges could help reduce her pain, and a heating pad under her back would help too. But she never figured out a foolproof way to stop the pain. She resigned herself to days off in pain and heating pads and the way her mother had to help her to the bathroom and back on really bad days._ _ _ _

____She had considered herself almost lucky. It only really got bad once or twice a month, and normally not so bad that she was completely incapacitated. But when she woke up on the island, her forehead already sweaty from the pain, she felt anything but lucky. To make matters worse, she was on water duty, which entailed an hour long hike to the waterfall and an hour and a half long hike back carrying a suitcase full of water._ _ _ _

____She didn’t say anything though. Rachel had lost a hand, her pain was nothing in comparison. Plus, Dot couldn’t make the trip alone, and they were already short-handed with Shelby constantly stuck at camp watching over Rachel. Martha resigned herself to a painful trek there and back, and figured that maybe she could go to sleep early tonight and wake up alright._ _ _ _

____Toni noticed, because Toni knew her almost better than anyone. Martha rarely let anyone see her when she was in so much pain. She hated to feel weak and pitied, so she kept visitors to a minimum, but Toni was her sister, and she knew. She knew that Martha needed to rest today, and she tried to tell that to Marty._ _ _ _

____“Marty,” she pleaded, voice still gravelly from sleep. “Let me take your water shift today. I can tell you’re in pain.”_ _ _ _

____Martha adamantly refused._ _ _ _

____“Come the fuck on Marty. We can manage one day so you aren’t in pain. Please, just let us help.”_ _ _ _

____“No, Toni! I’ll be fine. It’s honestly not that bad, and I’ll go to sleep early tonight.” She could see the frustration in Toni’s eyes, boiling just below the surface, but she knew that this was an argument she’d win. Toni wasn’t going to force her to stay here, as much as she wanted to._ _ _ _

____“Fine, Marty, but be careful.” Toni shifted from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable. “I fuckin hate seeing you in that kind of pain.”_ _ _ _

____At that, Martha softened. “I will, Toni, I promise. Besides, I’m with Dot today, and you know she won’t let anything happen to me.” Toni seemed to calm a bit at the mention of Dot, but still gave Martha one last concerned look before heading over to Nora to start foraging._ _ _ _

____As she walked over to Dot, she saw the look of confusion on her face, but gave her a quick half-hearted smile, which seemed to soothe the other girl._ _ _ _

____They started the hike, Dot carrying the suitcase and leading the way. Martha knew she was being uncharacteristically quiet, but truthfully, her pain had only increased, and she was starting to regret not letting Toni take her job. As she climbed over rocks and up and down hills, she couldn’t help but to let out grunts of pain as the dull ache in her back shifted more towards white-hot. She had to keep pausing to catch her breath, and knew that she was worrying Dot, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. All she could think of was how much she wanted her mom and her bed and the soothing warmth of her heating pad. The longer the two of them walked, the more her pain began to intensify until she was gasping slightly. Dot offered for them to take a break, but she couldn’t. She had to keep going. She was strong enough. She had to be._ _ _ _

____That was working until her left foot landed on a loose rock, causing her to lose balance. With that loss of stability, Martha felt something shift in her back until she let out a groan of pain and unceremoniously dropped to the ground, her vision going dark._ _ _ _

____When Martha came to, Dot was hovering over her, a concerned look on her face._ _ _ _

____“-artha? Martha? What the fuck happened? Martha, can you hear me?”_ _ _ _

____“Hmm…” It was the only noise of assent Martha could make at the moment._ _ _ _

____“Oh thank fuck. Martha, can you walk?”_ _ _ _

_____Interesting question._ Martha thought. _Can I?_ Moving her leg gave her the answer, and she groaned as her back flared with pain.____

________“Ok, I’m taking that as a no. Martha, what is going on?” Dot’s voice was nice, almost soothing, but she was not the person that Martha wanted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Mommy.” She barely croaked it out, but Dot heard her, and even in her haze of pain, Matha could see the guilt and anguish that crossed her face. Dot stood, with tears in her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ok are you going to be ok if I leave you here for a minute to get the meds?” After Martha hummed her assent, Dot removed her sweatshirt and balled it up as a pillow under her head. “I’ll be right back, Marty, I promise. I’ll bring Toni with me, ok?” Martha forced a smile that she was sure came out as a grimace. As she watched Dot nod and start sprinting through the forest, she let herself succumb to the exhaustion pulling at her eyelids, and drifted off into a world where she was jumping on a trampoline, weightless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________\---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni distinctly remembered thinking to herself that letting Martha go with Dot was a bad idea. It wasn’t like she could really stop her, but she knew that there was no way her excursion would end well. This was one of the only times Toni wished she could’ve been wrong._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was already anxious when Martha left, but hearing Dot crashing through the forest calling her name did nothing to help that anxiety._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She immediately dropped all of the plants she had gathered, ignoring Nora’s disgruntled yelp and running for Dot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They collided with each other at the same time and both of them were speaking before they could even process what was happening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Something’s wrong with Martha, I’m going to get the med kit but I think she needs you,Toni.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Where is Martha and what the FUCK happened?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They shared matching concerned expressions before darting off in opposite directions, Dot sprinting towards camp and Toni following the trail of trampled plants that Dot left in her rush to reach Toni._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni raced through the woods, fueled by pure adrenaline. She knew how Martha’s pain resurfaced every once in a while, and she had an idea of how bad it could get. Martha never let her in when she was in that much pain, but Toni still hovered by her door, watching Mrs. Blackburn’s face as she entered and left, a silent question of how she could help wavering in her gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni had never been good with pain. The vulnerability of it all made her want to shy away, she was unwilling to let herself see others or be seen in that state. The island had changed that slightly. Toni began to realize that being in pain did not make you weak. It was okay to be taken care of and to take care of others. Despite those revelations, Toni’s heart still thrummed with anxiety at the thought of being responsible for someone in as much pain as Marty was. Maybe it was because it was Martha, and seeing her in pain sent a jolt of agony through Toni’s heart, or maybe she had maxed out on vulnerability with everything that had happened with Rachel and Shelby the past few days. Either way, she was burning with nervous energy. She challenged herself to run faster and faster until she could see Marty on a rock, splayed out on her back, unconscious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________At that image, everything except Martha left Toni’s mind. Her eyes filled with tears when she skidded to a stop by Marty’s side and saw, instead of her normally peaceful face, that her eyebrows were knitted together in discomfort. Even in sleep her mouth was curled into a frown._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Marty. Marty, wake up.” As she said it, Toni realized that her words sounded more like a whisper than anything else. She tried again, not touching her for fear of causing more pain, but raising her voice. “Marty. Marty, please, wake up. Marty, please.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni knew that she was begging, but to be honest, she didn’t care. She didn’t care that there were tears running down her cheeks, or that her voice cracked every other word. All Toni wanted in that moment was to know that Martha was safe and ok. She was pulled out of her almost-prayers by a soft groan._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Mom?” Martha’s weak voice broke Toni’s heart, but she swallowed her tears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Nah, Marty, it’s me. Where does it hurt? How can I help?” As she spoke, Toni reached out to grab Martha’s right hand, and after seeing that it didn’t seem to cause her any more pain, Toni ghosted her fingers across her hairline, a comforting motion she had seen Mrs. Blackburn use before the island. Martha pushed into the touch, not unlike a cat, and cleared her throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Toni,” her voice was still weak, but Toni nodded in anticipation. “You were right.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The small smile that Martha cracked at the statement brought forth a wet laugh from Toni’s lungs, one that sounded altogether too close to a sob._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I fuckin know that now tell me something I don’t know. How can I help you?” Martha sombered at this, seemingly remembering her situation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Before Martha could answer Toni’s question, Dot came crashing through the bushes, carrying the familiar black bag and a deeply concerned expression. Toni briefly wondered if she herself looked that frantic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I have meds.” Dot proclaimed breathlessly, her chest still heaving from her sprint. “What does she need?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni, realizing the question was directed at her, looked to Martha, checking that she was ok with Toni answering for her. When Marth nodded, Toni turned back to Dot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Uh, what were the fucking pills you gave her before? When her ankle was twisted? The oxy-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oxycodone, yeah. Hold on, I think there are some more in the bag.” After a minute of rooting through the bag, Dot exclaimed triumphantly and held up a very average looking bottle of pills. Fighting with the cap, Dot handed one to Toni. “Here, these should help. Once they start working, hopefully we can get her back to camp and lay her down somewhere more comfortable.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Getting Marty to actually swallow the pill was an entirely different challenge, as the pain was making her nauseous. Once she swallowed the pill, she seemed to relax slightly, the tension creeping from her shoulders. Eventually, Martha nodded her agreement to being lifted onto Toni’s back, and they started back to camp. It took much longer than it should’ve. Dot trailed behind them to carry everything and made sure that Martha never toppled off of Toni’s back. They had to stop frequently, sometimes waiting for a particularly bad wave of pain to abate, and sometimes to allow Toni a moment’s rest (as strong as she was, Martha weighed more than Toni did and the terrain was less than forgiving), but eventually they made it back to camp._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They arrived to find a nest of sorts made out of every extra piece of fabric they had, with the only pillow they had placed at the head, and Toni could’ve cried with relief. Martha would have somewhere marginally better than the cold damp sand tonight, and her family had made sure of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni gently set Martha down and helped her get arranged in the pile of clothes before she truly looked around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nora was missing (off getting water so the group wouldn’t become too dehydrated, Toni later figured out), but the rest of the girls stood in what looked like a vague semi-circle. They all looked ready to jump into action at a moment’s notice. Toni felt her heart swell at the sight. Shelby, of course, was the first to speak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Is she gonna be ok? Do you know what happened?” Her Southern accent was stronger now, a testament to her level of anxiety._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah.” Toni sighed, looking down at Martha’s now sleeping form. “Sometimes she gets pain flare ups from an old injury. I think she just overexerted herself. She just wants to prove that she’s useful, and it may take her a bit to recover, but she’ll be fine in a few days, I think.” Leah was the next to speak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Is, uh, is there anything we can do to help?” She seemed nervous, but genuine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t really know. I know that at home, this happens sometimes, but she never lets me help. I think we just have to let her ask for what she needs.” Fatin opened her mouth to say something, but was silenced by the look of pure exhaustion on Toni’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ok.” That was Dot. “But when she feels better, we have to have a real group conversation about pushing ourselves to our limits.” That got a chuckle from the group._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Toni, however, wasn’t paying any attention. She let herself finally sink into the soft sand by Marty’s head and began to play gently with her hair, humming a soft tune._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Birthdays were the worst days, now we sip champagne when we thirsty…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if there's anything you want to read specifically, let me know in the comments! id love to chat with you, and you can find me on tumblr @trexjesse


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